Forgotten

Can You hear me??

                               Have You forgotten about me?

                                                                                         Are You here with me?

I feel forgotten and… a l o n e. 

Ever have those questions and/or thoughts running through your head? I know I have, more times than I would like to admit. Currently, I've been reading through the book of Psalm, one of my favorites, and throughout the two months that I have been in this book, I have realized just how much I can relate to the writers of Psalm. 

Today I was reading in Psalm 77 and was encouraged by it as the author, Asaph, was describing EXACTLY how I have felt over the past several years. Asaph is distressed over God's people and is praying for God to manifest His mighty power to save His people again as He did in Exodus. 

"I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted." -Ps. 77:1-2

I feel that lately I have been right there where Asaph was. I cry out to God in distress, beginning to wonder if He is even listening to me after so many nights of the same prayers, the same pain, and the same fears; yet my soul doesn't find relief. The fear starts to creep in that the Lord has left me because not even praising Him and crying out to Him is providing satisfaction.

"Will the Lord reject forever? Will He never show His favor again? Has His unfailing love vanished forever? Has His promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has He in anger withheld His compassion?" -Ps. 77:7-9

Can't you just hear his despair? The fear that God has abandoned him just seeps out of this passage. It's a feeling of hopelessness that overwhelms and I know exactly how he feels.

As I read this passage this morning, I felt as if God was reminding me of the most important thing. You see, lately I have felt scared. Fearful of the future, fearful of rejection, fearful of failure. I didn't realize how much this fear was paralyzing me until I was having to face it head on. I think somewhere over the years I decided to stay still. If I stayed still, I wouldn't have to face rejection and disappointment. It was as if I decided to run on a treadmill forever rather than run in the beauty of the outdoors. I accepted mediocre in order to prevent letdown. Now that I have realized how fear was holding me back, I have tried to make an active step towards it and battle it through a russian roulette type game, but I didn't realize how scary it was going to be. I didn't realize that I could face the fact that failure may defeat me.

Who are you kidding? Yourself…

You are not worthy of anything good…

You are a failure, accept it! 

OK, I accept it. Who am I kidding?? I've never gotten the things in life that I really wanted or desired, what makes me think it's going to change now. LIES!!!

That is the voice of the enemy, the father of lies! Yesterday these thoughts were speaking so loud to me and I was starting to believe it once again. I found myself getting angry at God.

"Lord??? Why aren't You listening to me anymore?? I keep trying and You just keep pushing. I can't do this anymore. Is this whole thing one big joke? Do you exist? I WANT to hear You, but I don't…"

What am I suppose to do?? Now what??

Thankfully, Psalm 77 doesn't just stop at verse 9. As I continued to read on this morning, I came across this…

"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all Your works and consider all Your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; You display Your power among the peoples. With Your mighty arm You redeemed Your people…" -Ps. 77:11-15

So what is my solution? To find encouragement by remembering God's faithfulness and power! THIS gives me hope for the future! God has NEVER left me! In fact, He remains faithful, even when I don't. He will be there through thick and thin. The truth of the matter is that I will face failure in this life, I will face disappointment, BUT I must hold on to the truth that those things don't define who I am. Christ defines me!! What a beautiful reminder! His promises and will may not look like the way I want them to look, but they will be EVEN BETTER! His ways are perfect and happen at the perfect time, not one minute early or one minute late, but just at His perfect timing. God didn't forget about His people, the Israelites, in Exodus and Asaph was encouraged by remembering that. God performed great deeds and great miracles for Israel in the past, God would provide deliverance yet again! Trust Him!! Cling to that truth!

It was the exact encouragement I needed this morning! I pray it encourages you too!